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Area Man Downloads Tinder for Fourth Time Because, Fuck, Grandparents Married at 20

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ALEXANDRIA, VA – Upon realizing today that, Jesus H. Christ, he is already three years older than his grandparents when they married, local 23-year-old Josh Keegan has downloaded the popular hookup app Tinder for the fourth time.
 
"I mean, holy shit, when she was my age, Nana had already given birth to Aunt Linda," Keegan reported as he hastily deleted "[Aquarius emoji], if you care about that sort of thing" from his bio. "Obviously it was a different time, but damn, I don't think I've even been on a date since Kelsey."