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CIA Successfully Turns High-Ranking Russian Microwave

MOSCOW – In a newly declassified report, the CIA has revealed that it successfully recruited the microwave of Sergey Naryshkin as a counterspy.

Mr Naryshkin, Vladimir Putin’s head security advisor, was apparently unaware of these efforts. The microwave, referred to by the codename "Maytag," perpetrated several successful deep-cover surveillance operations, before being inadvertently exposed by White House Counsel Kellyanne Conway.