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Sophomore Finds Cockroach in Quad Double, Loses All Faith

Emily A. Glennbury ‘16 was “shocked, saddened and entirely existentially disillusioned” to find a cockroach in her Cabot double this Friday.
 
“At first, I thought it was a piece of brownie,” said Glennbury, referring to the dessert she had managed to snag from Cabot before they ran out, which often happens because a surprising number of people actually do come to its brain break.
 

Cabot UC Election Ends in 380-Way Tie

CAMBRIDGE, MA—According to reports from Al Jazeera Quad, Cabot House’s recent UC election has ended in a 380-way tie. As of Monday morning, the UC Commission had yet to decide a method for resolving the unprecedented result, in which all 380 residents of Cabot House received the same number of votes—zero. The UC’s bylaws and constitution make no provisions for such a result, according to UC legal scholar Michael Wasserman ’14.