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Friend Who Worked with Kids Now Says "I'll Wait"

He's waiting.
CAMBRIDGE, MA  – Leverett House sophomore Nathan A. Dunham '20, who spent the summer teaching Boston-area children, now says "I'll wait" whenever he feels his friends are interrupting him.
 
Dunham was eating dinner Thursday night when his blockmate Jessica P. Menendez '20 suddenly interrupted him. According to witnesses, Dunham adopted a stern countenance, stood up from his seat, and declared, "I'll wait."
 

Santa Claus: "I Don't Believe in Children"

NORTH POLE – In an uncharacteristically glum Christmas Eve in the North Pole, Santa Claus admitted that for almost ten years he has been harboring growing doubts about the existence of children.

 Santa told reporters at the December 24th press conference, "I've been reluctant to speak my mind on this issue, but I feel the time is right." Among other things, St. Nick revealed that no postal agency has ever delivered a single piece of mail to the North Pole.