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Breaking

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CS

Student in Maxwell Dworkin Actually Gollum

CAMBRIDGE, MA – After months of being completely oblivious to the fact that there has been a fictional character living inside their building, Computer Science faculty have finally realized that Gollum is not actually another computer science student. 

CS 124 TFs Yet to Return Students' Souls

CAMBRIDGE, MA – In a shocking revelation on Monday, an anonymous CS 124 TF disclosed to Satire V that not a single student of last semester's notoriously difficult algorithms class has managed to recover their soul.

“Going into the course, I knew sacrificing my soul was a required component,” remarked Angela Park '17. “But I guess I just assumed it would be given back at the end. I mean, what kind of life is this?”

CS Concentrator Rethinking Career Path After Enrolling in TDM Course

CAMBRIDGE, MA -– Harvard junior Chris Franklin is considering dropping his CS major, which he is four credits away from completing, in order to pursue acting after being accepted into TDM 110: Beginning Acting.

“When I showed up to the audition, I was sure I would get rejected. Everyone there was a theater major, or at least had a ton of experience, said Frankin. "I think I even saw a Hasty Pudding kid in line.”