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Sorry for the Ambiguity: ‘EASY D’ Means Penis

Yesterday, as I often do, I Tweeted one of my tremendous ideas. And I have noticed that many in the liberal FAKE NEWS media are misconstruing my Tweet as something I never intended. The FAKE NEWS media tries to undermine my true messages every single day, so I've decided to undercut them and talk to you directly.

I would like to clear this up once and for all: when I Tweeted that Americans were desperate for "EASY D," I was talking about penises. 

A Tale of Two Endowments

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Is Harvard’s endowment underperforming? That’s the question members of the Harvard Management Company face after years of unsatisfactory growth from its investment appendage. University President Drew Faust repeatedly characterized the endowment as “disappointing.” “We just can’t get off on -2% returns,” remarks Faust.