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Elmo Celebrates 21st Birthday

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Beloved
child star Elmo celebrated his 21st birthday in style earlier this month. 
This marked not only the anniversary of the muppet's first stitching, but also
his introduction to what Oscar the Grouch referred to as ""sweet lady
liquor.""

The event began at area club ""Open Sesame,"" where a few mixed drinks
were enough to coax Elmo and friends into riding the mechanical
Snuffleupagus.  ""It was lots of fun,"" Elmo told Sesame Street
staff members the next day.  Chuckling softly, he added, ""Elmo's
never touching Jager again.""

Within an hour of the first toast, Burt and Ernie had broken up and gotten back
together at least twice.

The real party, however, didn't begin until the group moved down the street to
the less reputable ""Sesame Seed Buns.""  Celebrity citings
included couples like Beyonce Knowles and Jay-Z, the letter W and the number 2.

Those
who lost consciousness early were shown no mercy.  Big Bird, who passed
out just after the wet fur contest, was shaved, and, shortly thereafter Elmo
and company tarred-and-feathered Kermit.

After a moment of silent drinking, tears welled up on Elmo's eyes and he
slurred ""Elmo loves his goldfish.""  He then took a swig from his
glass, getting more on Grover than in his mouth, and added ""His crayon,
too.""

Ten minutes after drunk dialing ex-girlfriend
Chelsea Clinton, the birthday puppet was spotted making out with Oscar the
Grouch's can while the terrified, derelict monster whimpered inside.

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© 2009
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