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Exclusive: Song Lyrics from Disney's Paul Ryan Musical

My what a guy!

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Paul Ryan

Looking like you’re in a slump.

Chris Christie here’d love to be you, Paul Ryan

Even when brown-nosing Trump.

There’s no man in town as reviled as you

You’re everyone’s least fav’rite guy.

Everyone’s not reconciled with you

And it’s not very hard to see whyyy!

 

No

One

Lies like Paul Ryan

Justifies like Paul Ryan

Doesn’t care about poor people's lives like Paul Ryan.

For there’s no man in town half as spineless

Perfect and credibly white.

You can ask Pence or Cruz, cause they whine less

And they’ll tell you the wrong side of his’try is right.

 

No one's been like Paul Ryan

In tailspin like Paul Ryan

No one’s grin is incredibly thin like Paul Ryan’s.

“Of course the Republican health care plan won't cover an estimated 15 million fewer people than the ACA.”

 

My what a guy that Paul Ryan!

 

Senate:

Give five “I disavow those comments"

Give twelve “the rollout was a little bumpy, but I support the actual immigration policy”

Paul Ryan's the best

Liberals don't be upset!

 

No one’s slick like Paul Ryan

Is a prick like Paul Ryan

Keeps on sucking Trump’s small orange dick like Paul Ryan.

There's no man who quotes Ayn Rand like such a champ

As he’s bystanding, he won’t lament.

If we don’t have money for school food stamps

He’s content that it’s spent on the top one percent.

 

No one’s fit like Paul Ryan

Has no wit like Paul Ryan

On bipartisanship no one's quit like Paul Ryan.

“I see no reason for Jeff Sessions to recuse himself from the Russian investigations for infractions.”

 

Sure! Ten points for Paul Ryan!

 

Paul:

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs

Ev’ry morning so I’d seem mature.

And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs

And don't give a shit for the poor!

 

Senate:

Ohh, ahhh, wow!

 

No one’s raw like Paul Ryan

Has a jaw like Paul Ryan

No one keeps on obstructing the law like Paul Ryan.

“I’m especially good at balancing traditional Republican values with Trump’s blatantly discriminatory and self-serving actions!”

My what a guy,

 

 

Paul Ryaaaaaaan!

 

© 2017
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