and entering

I Already Saw That Meme

I obviously already saw that meme.
By your internet-savvy friend
I see you just sent me a meme. I suspect you thought it would impress me or even elicit laughter.
You fool.
You cannot even begin to understand the scope of my internet knowledge. My meme repertoire is overflowing, and you think I am going to laugh at some grainy photo with a caption that you found on Facebook? Please, afford me the respect I have earned.

I am tapped into the mainframe of meme production. I harvest memes from their source, and you have the gall to show me something that has been out on the web for months already? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Every time you text me a screenshot from Twitter, I cringe. Every video you send me over Facebook Messenger is pathetic. Haven’t you noticed that 30,000 people already liked that meme? My mom sent me that post over a year ago. You disgust me.

I have seen forwarded email chains more current than this poor excuse for a meme that you have placed before me. How dare you pollute my eyes with something that was posted to Reddit in 2014.

From now on, when you see a “funny” post on Twitter that has already been knocked off by hundreds of accounts, think twice before you send it to me. Your memes are stale, and your commentary is not pithy. 
Every time you text me “lol” with a link to something I saw months ago, I lose what little respect for you I still had. Think twice before you do it again because next time will be the last time.
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© 2018