Don't buy your books new
In fact, don't buy them at all. Instead, rely on Wikipedia, Reddit, and Flyby for information. Alternatively, look into illegal downloads. The more illegal software on your new laptop, the better.
Never eat a meal alone
Make sure to bring your childhood imaginary friend along, and refer to them frequently whenever you have real-life company. Don't worry, soon it will just be you and Ghostie in the corner of Annenberg.
Go to office hours