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Upstart News Anchor Vies for Bill O'Reilly's Timeslot

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News executives were impressed Sunday by a young upstart news anchor who auditioned to replace Bill O'Reilly, the long-time host of The O'Reilly Factor who was recently fired for repeated accusations of sexual harassment.
 
The anchor, who auditioned under the name Phil O'Smiley, is looking to replace the most popular host in cable news. Fox News parent company boss Rupert Murdoch, who is reportedly worried that the network will be hard-pressed to find an equally charismatic host, personally asked O'Smiley to audition.
 

Even I Think This is Excessive

Following a series of news reports surrounding President Donald Trump’s unfounded accusation that President Barack Obama was wire tapping the then Republican presidential nominee, the ghost of Richard Nixon published the following statement: