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Capitalist Win! Nation Teaches Little Children to Sell Body Parts for Money

United States of America – From the nation that has learned how to commodify everything from prisons to sex comes a powerful lesson for young children: Leave your body parts under your pillow and rely on the benevolence of an invisible hand to compensate you for natural resources you have painfully extracted!

Talk about a victory for the free market! Micro adults can expect a standardized rate of $1-2 per outside bone, with all prices subject to inflation. Extra sums go to the children of Charles and David Koch.