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Area Man Disappointed to Discover Lies Feminist Tell Event Isn't Just List of Times Women Have Told Him They're Not Interested

Matthew Jackson, who despite having troubling views on women probably still labels himself a male feminist

Local man Matthew Jackson, 22, was reportedly disappointed to discover “Lies Feminists Tell” event was not just a list of all the times women have told him they’re not interested.

When he originally heard of the event, he decided that the title alone was enough to pique his interest. “I’ve always known these so-called feminists weren’t telling me the whole truth,” he disclosed. “Now I can finally get proof that when Emma said she ‘just didn’t see me in a romantic way,’ and ‘was too busy with classes to look for anything serious’ she was just lying through her damn teeth.”

Jackson had hoped the event would shed some light on his past relationships. “When my ex left me, she said I was 'manipulative' and 'gaslighting her,'” he said. “I thought this event would help me know for sure that her excuses were total fiction!” He then went on to say that he always knew his ex-girlfriend was a “crazy, pathological liar” and that he “doesn’t even know what gaslighting means.”

When Jackson arrived at Tsai Auditorium, he was disappointed to discover a woman talking about the sanctity of human life. “A bunch of my female friends warned me that this was just an anti-abortion event with a buzzword title intended to stir controversy. But I thought they just didn't want me to see the truth,” he explained. “I mean, women never say what they really mean, so why would they start now?” Jackson hopes that in addition to promoting inflammatory programming, Harvard Right to Life will also sponsor events for the modern man who "can't understand bitches."

At press time, Jackson was reportedly arguing that he shouldn't have to pay for women's contraception on Facebook.

 

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