The College Events Board faced immediate backlash Thursday night after a video on their website revealed this year’s Yardfest artist to be up-and-coming R&B sensation Janelle Monáe.
As per usual, students were quick to speak out against the CEB’s decision. “Her upbeat tempos and funky rhythms make me absolutely sick,” said senior Brandon Hasbrook. “Don’t even get me started on the lyrics: completely inoffensive and absolutely catchy."
Freshman Sarah Johnston was overheard discussing the decision with her newly formed blocking group. “When I saw that Tyga performed last year, I was ecstatic, I couldn’t wait to see who we would get,” claimed a visibly upset Johnston. “But seriously? You’re going to bring in an empowering, African-American, female, 6-time Grammy nominee? This school is a joke.”
Riding on a wave of fury, students across the college started to lobby against the Billboard 2013 Rising Star Award winner. "Misogyny, degradation, racism, that's all we ask for in a Yardfest artist," commented Trisha McMasters of Harvard's International Women's Rights Collective. "This year is a major screwup and we are not about to let it happen."
The College Events Board attempted to stand by its decision, but opposition was simply too strong. In an official statement on behalf of the CEB, junior John Stokes, explained, “we were only trying to offend as many people as possible, as we do every year. We didn’t expect you to actually agree with our choice and we are truly sorry for our actions.”
Newly surfaced reports claim that talks have begun to replace Monáe with the more appropriate 2Chainz.
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