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DeVos Wheels TV into Education Department, Plays Magic School Bus

And we're going to watch the one where the bus goes into Arnold's body. Again.

WASHINGTON, DC – In an unprecedented move toward bureaucratic reform, newly-appointed United States Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos surprised her employees Friday morning when she brought a television atop a tall cart into Department of Education offices.

 

“I don’t have a lesson plan for today, and just think we’ve worked so hard over the past week that we all deserve a little break from work. So today, we’ll be watching a movie or two. But pay attention, because these movies are meant to be educational,” DeVos told her employees. “I need to be sure this department has the solid understanding of science, humanities, and civics necessary to overseeing thousands of public schools nationwide,” DeVos said as she perused the decades-old tapes primarily intended to educate elementary school audiences.

 

“I’m so excited,” remarked Education Department worker Josh Brendanawicz. “Normally my job involves managing student loans, directing public school funds, evaluating the effectiveness of standardized tests, and working closely with Secretary DeVos to ensure excellence in America’s schools. But today I trade those boring things to watch TV!” Brendanawicz let out a childish giggle, “Maybe we won’t even have homework!”

 

DeVos was originally unsure what educational VHS tape to show the class. “Are you all okay with Schoolhouse Rock? We could learn how a bill becomes a law! Or would you prefer Bill Nye the Science Guy, or Pete the Dragon?” the secretary asked her employees. Eventually settling on Magic School Bus, DeVos reportedly returned to her desk and googled “which magic school bus episodes don’t mention evolution” while her workers were preoccupied.

 

DeVos told reporters at press time that while she is looking for a substitute on Monday, she still expects her employees to behave just as if their normal secretary was present.

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