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Gender-Neutral Housing Proposal Discourages Students from Calling Kirkland “She”

Eliot House declined to comment. http://tinyurl.com/lfha9hb

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Proponents of a gender-neutral housing petition circulating on campus claim that their proposal, which looks to end the use of gender-specific pronouns in reference to upperclassmen houses, is advancing smoothly.

 “This change is long overdue,” said Jeremy Green ’15, author of the petition, “Gender identity is a complex issue, but it’s really not that difficult to say ‘it’ instead of ‘him’ or ‘her.’”

 The petition was quick to win student support.  “You are who you are, y’know?” said one signatory. “And sometimes who you are is a genderless, inanimate pile of brick.”

 Several houses confirmed that this issue has long been a source of discomfort, and expressed their relief that remedial measures will soon be put in place. “Frankly, I’ve always identified as an ‘it,’” said Kirkland House. “I’ve always hated hearing things like, ‘Oh, look, it’s Kirkland! She’s such a pretty house.’ But I stayed silent for a long time because I thought it would be too awkward to bring up.”

 “I’m literally just a building,” said the Mather tower. “I’m not sure why people have been calling me ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ for so long.”

 Much of the administration supports the proposition as well. Said Julie Smithers of the HUHS Center for Wellness, “This is really an issue of respecting the houses in our community, no matter how they identify. It’s a progressive step.”

 Resistance towards the proposal has come from language teachers such as Spanish professor Maria Acosta, who insists that the noun “casa” is, and has always been, inherently feminine.  

© 2013
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