Cambridge, MA – Last Sunday, 14 female students signed up to audition for the Hasty Pudding Theatricals, an annual burlesque drag musical, in protest of the all-male cast. 

“We hear the protests and realize that times are changing. The Hasty Pudding is proud to respond to these calls by meeting with the fathers of the auditioning women,” said Andrew Marble, a leader of the grad board. 

In response to questions about whether the board would listen to the protetors themselves, Marble waved his hand and repeated, “You’re welcome, it’s nothing,” and "Really, it’s the least we could do."

“This is obviously an important matter. We want to discuss it with people who are logical and level-headed,” said Marble. “In either case, I can only understand people when they speak in a deep, testosterone-fueled man’s voice or a fake shrilly woman’s voice as impersonated by a man.”

The movement was organized by two women fortunate enough to have strong, independent fathers named Ted Davison and Oliver Miller. Marble seemed keen on meeting with the two visionary men to discuss changes to the casting process.

“It’s the twenty-first century, for crying out loud. Of course I’m willing to consider speaking with their fathers,” said Marble. “It’s not like I’m blatantly ignoring gender equality and promoting an outdated tradition that’s unfair and nonsensical.”

All the protesting women were available for comment but not asked for their opinions.

Image source: Tom Stohlman/Flickr