Dear Harvard College Students,

I write to you this afternoon with an update about dining on campus in the event that Harvard University Dining Service (HUDS) workers go on strike tomorrow. I know that many of you have mid-term exams in addition to other commitments and are concerned about the impact of a possible strike on your schedules and dining options. We validate and apologize for your struggles, which are definitely comparable to those of the workers striking, who merely face increased costs of living and healthcare in the context of a tumultuous global economy.

In the event of a strike tomorrow morning, HUDS will take the following measures: 

• Beginning with breakfast, Cabot house, Dunster House, and Kirkland House dining halls will be closed. We do not foresee this being a huge issue as Cabot and Dunster house are located too far away from the central part of campus to be of much use to the majority of students, and as Kirkland house--save Mark Zuckerberg--is largely irrelevant to Harvard as a whole.

• Meal hours will actually be extended for the duration of the strike, hence making it easier for students on campus to eat. What better way is there for the administration to support our dear employees’ cause than to make conditions for students during the strike even better than they normally are?

• Brain Break will continue to disappoint, with day old pastries and only the worst three knock off cereal options continuing to be served long through the dark night.

• Hillel Dining will continue to be open, but only to practicing Jews and a +1 of their choice. It would just simply be too expensive to provide kosher, healthy food options to all of campus.

• Flyby will continue to be open, and will now also accommodate freshmen, thereby making it even more inefficient, crowded, and generally unhelpful during peak lunch hours.

• Boardplus will still be accepted across campus, thereby allowing students to nourish themselves for several days with $65 worth of dodgy muffins and Odwalla bars. However, with the removal of Greenhouse café, this monetary form has become relatively worthless and we don’t actually anticipate anyone attempting to spend their Boardplus until Greenhouse reopens sometime in January 2017.

I know this may be difficult for a number of reasons, namely the lack of alternative dining options in Harvard Square to replace on-campus dining halls for students for the duration of a conflict that will most likely be resolved within three days. Remember that we are here to support you, the struggling students of the best university in America, during this tough time.

Best regards,

Dean Katie O’Dair

PS. The first student to catch the Harvard turkey gets to eat it.