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Breaking

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Winthrop Pressures Lowell to Allow More Backdoor Stuff

Winthrop and Lowell have failed to make any meaningful progress in negotiations over Lowell’s “backdoor.” Despite Winthrop's years of begging, Lowell continues to hold firm that “it’s an exit, not an entrance.” From Lowell’s perspective, its front entrance is perfectly functional and was actually made to receive visitors while the backdoor isn’t always so tidy. As Lowell puts it, “I would never live it down if Winthrop found a mess back there.” Besides, Lowell says, “it’s a little more romantic to be able to see people as they come in.”

Winthrop, on the other hand sees some inconsistencies in this position. As Winthrop points out, Lowell’s backdoor is often pretty loose allowing Winthrop to “slip in there” without Lowell even noticing. It's only when Winthrop formally asks to swipe in that it faces rejection, which is "pretty messed up" if you ask Winthrop. Winthrop has stressed to Lowell how this doesn’t mean Winthrop respects Lowell any less but sometimes Winthrop just likes to “change it up a little” to no avail. In fact, Winthrop adds, this level of trust could bring the two houses even closer.

Discussions broke down early Saturday evening when Lowell finally snapped, asking Winthrop “why don’t you let people come in your backdoor if it’s so great?!?” Other Houses reported a shocked silence from Winthrop followed by a long stream of unanswered apologies from Lowell. At press time, Winthrop was nervously asking Eliot, a house known for its backdoor experimentation, what having someone come in from the back was like, anyway.

© 2013
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