SatireV

Breaking

and entering

You Think I Give a Single Shit About What House You’re From?

Currier DHall
Look at that artistic as fuck rock in the middle of the goddamn DHall.

I see you coming up with your ID card ready, all excited for the cornucopia of delicious food we’ve prepared for you all. And I can see in your heart, you’re thinking “You know, I hope I’ll be able to eat here at Currier DHall tonight, even though I live in Leverett House.” Well let me tell you, here at Currier DHall we’re inclusive as fuck. Let me swipe that shit right through this machine and let you take your tray, young man.

Other DHalls may not get it - you can only eat here if a friend from the house invites you, you can’t eat here on Thursdays - you know, the usual bullshit. Well let me be the first to inform your ass that we don’t give a single shit about what house you’re from here at Currier DHall. Grab yourself a bodacious dinner prepared by our amazing staff and get out there and have a great fucking meal with your friends, regardless of where you live, dude.

Sit back and relax in front of our literal fountain in the middle of our DHall. Yeah, that’s right, this environment is a soothing as fuck place to eat your dinner, thanks to our fountain vista. And if that’s not enough for you, enjoy our amazing motherfucking art, all curated for you on that left wall. And to your right, why not eat in those comfortable-ass red cushioned chairs, with the footrests? Certainly nobody here’s gonna stop you. Go wild, bro.

You can tell the Eliot dhall swipe lady I said that. Enjoy your meal.

© 2016
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