You want cake batter, treat us like we matter!

We cook your food, we make your meals, we just want a honey-graham-square deal!

No justice, no peas!

Low wages means no potato wedges!

If you want the buns, then cough up the dough!

You put us in a pickle, now make us a dill!

Strogaknock this off!

Sunflower butter doesn't make this better!

You want celery? We want salary! 

What's leafy, green, and good for you? Dollar bills and paychecks, too!

Your curly fries ain't curling when you strike with signs a-twirling. 

CAMBRIDGE, MA—As the university confronts annoyed students, dining hall closures, and starving mice, Local 26 and the Harvard Management Corporation both played “scissors” in round 9,475 of the rock-paper-scissors-format negotiations.

Cambridge, MA — Glancing up nervously every now and then, area section kid Marc Teller was reportedly attempting to remove a chocolate chip cookie from its stubborn plastic wrapper. “You wouldn’t believe the looks I was getting from the nine other people in my ten-person Tuesdays at 3 SLS20 section. I always get a hankering for something sweet around two or three in the afternoon.

CAMBRIDGE, MA - With the historic Harvard University Dining Services strike underway, many students have been eagerly declaring their support for the workers who have staffed campus dining halls continuously for decades. Among these supporters was Garrett West '19, who has been advocating his support for the strike since a notice was posted on his door in early September. However, West reports his backing for the walkout evaporated this morning, after he was rudely awoken by a march through campus at 6 AM. 

Food, frozen food. Dirty dishes, plastic knives, cold chowder. These are the conditions that we now must face. Twelve dining halls have rebelled against the administration that paid them, loved them, protected them. We at University Hall have no tolerance for this kind of treachery.

Dear Harvard College Students,

I write to you this afternoon with an update about dining on campus in the event that Harvard University Dining Service (HUDS) workers go on strike tomorrow. I know that many of you have mid-term exams in addition to other commitments and are concerned about the impact of a possible strike on your schedules and dining options. We validate and apologize for your struggles, which are definitely comparable to those of the workers striking, who merely face increased costs of living and healthcare in the context of a tumultuous global economy.