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Harvard

Community Garden Bales on Farmal

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Due to amaizeingly high interest and lack of space, the Harvard Community Garden has decided to bale on Farmal. “It was a chard decision,” said event organizer Brock Lee '17. 

Kirkland-Eliot Fire Does Not Interrupt Evening Existential Crisis

Cambridge, MA — Though students briefly evacuated Kirkland and Eliot Houses on Monday evening after a small electrical fire broke out, the situation reportedly did not impede students’ regular evening existential crises.
 

#NotSemiticPhilology151 Reports Overwhelming Success

CAMBRIDGE, MA—In what its organizers have declared “a breakthrough moment,” the grassroots movement #NotSemiticPhilology151 is taking credit for the minuscule number of students registering for this fall’s session of Introduction to Northwest Semitic Epigraphy.

Inspired By Khurana Reflection Email, Spee Club Changes Punch Policy

Early Friday morning, the Spee Club-- one of Harvard's eight all-male final clubs-- announced that its members had voted to welcome all genders in the club's upcoming punch. According to Spee Club president Matthew E. Lee '16, the members were inspired to reflect on their club's longstanding policies after reading Dean Rakesh Khurana's latest email calling for reflection.
 

Hasty Pudding Grad Board Considers Meeting with Fathers of Harvard Women to Arrange Casting

Cambridge, MA – Last Sunday, 14 female students signed up to audition for the Hasty Pudding Theatricals, an annual burlesque drag musical, in protest of the all-male cast. 

“We hear the protests and realize that times are changing. The Hasty Pudding is proud to respond to these calls by meeting with the fathers of the auditioning women,” said Andrew Marble, a leader of the grad board. 

Freshmen Excited to be Excluded from a Wide Variety of Extracurriculars

Cambridge, MA – Their appetites whetted by Friday’s Activities Fair, the Class of 2019 is eagerly getting ready to be systematically excluded from the rich extracurricular life at Harvard.

Executive Vice President Katie Lapp Trapped in Pile of Cardboard Boxes

Cambridge, MA—According to a recent email sent out to students, faculty, and staff, Harvard University executive vice president Katie Lapp has been trapped in an interminable maze of used cardboard boxes.

Michael Sandel Offers Course to Future Consultants' Former Souls

CAMBRIDGE, MA-- Michael Sandel, the Anne T. and Robert M. Bass Professor of Government, announced Thursday that he will offer a course to the former souls of future consultants.
 
Sandel, who formerly taught "Justice" and now teaches "Money, Markets, and Morals", will begin offering a course titled "Ethical Reasoning 66: Effective Altruism's Effects" this fall to help sold-out souls cope.
 

Dean Khurana: Summer Reflection

Dear Harvard College students,

I hope that each of you is having a wonderful summer break, whether you are interning, conducting research, studying abroad, or simply spending well-deserved time at home, away from the stresses of academic tasks. You all merit some time to relax and recharge, as iPhones or electric razors do. 

An Open Letter to Drew Faust from Digress Harvard

Dear President Faust:

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