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Feminist Win! Hasty Pudding to Let Woman of the Year Operate Lights at Man of the Year Ceremony

A lighting structure.

Talk about progress! Today the all-male Hasty Pudding, the nation's oldest theater company, announced that it will let next year's Woman of the Year operate the lights during its annual Man of the Year ceremony.

Now that's a WIN! Am I right, ladies?

Hasty Pudding Diversifies Production with First-Ever Animal Cast Members

A tiger in Farkas Hall.

CAMBRIDGE, MA – On Saturday, the executive board members of the Hasty Pudding Theatricals officially announced their decision to allow animals to audition for this year’s production of “Noah’s (F)Ark(as).”

Dance, Monkey, Dance

By Your Campus Recruiter

Ah, recruiting season. I’ll let you all in on a little secret: this is my favorite time of the year. I know how much students hate recruiting season. But I’ll be honest, it’s just so much fun for a campus recruiter like me. Sure, I had to go through this song and dance once upon a time, but now I get to be the puppet master!

Mankiw Enrolls in Expos 40 to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking

Cambridge, MA – Harvard professor and conservative economist N. Gregory Mankiw announced via his blog, Greg Mankiw’s Blog, that he will be enrolling in Expos 40: Public Speaking Practicum to overcome his fear of public speaking.

Throughout decades of serving as course head for Economics 10a and 10b, students frequently reported that Mankiw could not deliver an entire lecture without fleeing the stage in distress, forcing a guest lecturer to speak in his place.

Fourth Classes Tired of Being Called “Easy”

After a series of vicious rumors swept Harvard’s campus during the Fall 2017 shopping period, fourth classes have banded together to declare that they are not, in fact, “easy As.” GenEds of all distribution requirements have stated that they are fed up with the broad generalizations students make about them. In a written statement, the fourth classes said that they wish to increase awareness as to the harmfulness of the stigma.

Harvard Reacts: Controversy over Admissions Practices

Widener Library

Recently, the Justice Department announced that it will investigate Harvard's admissions practices, and now the university has come under public scrutiny:

"Admission should be based on one factor: How many 501c3s have you founded?"
        –Alex R. Watson ’20, Founder of Kids Taking on Chlamydia

The Tragicall Historie of President Faustus

By Christopher Marlowe

Christopher Marlowe's classic 1588 tragedy, President Faustus, remains a landmark work of Renaissance literature. Telling the story of a brilliant but hubristic academic who sells her soul to the devil in return for 10 years of unlimited power, it has enchanted ExxonMobil CEOs and SEAS faculty alike for centuries. Satire V is proud to present Marlowe's original draft of the iconic last soliloquy.

Ah, Faustus,

Now hast thou but one bare year to be president,

And then thou must be damn'd perpetually!

Hair in Shower Drain a Fascinating Glimpse of Summer Housing's Ancient Inhabitants

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Earlier this week, archaeologists announced the groundbreaking discovery of a clump of hair in the shower drain of Hampden 42, offering fascinating insights into the long-dead civilization that reigned there before Move-Out Day.
 

Inactive Club Member Makes Grand Return to Scattered Applause, Forced Smiles

CAMBRIDGE, MA – In a move that shocked everyone including himself, after almost four months of inactivity, Harrison Ross '19 was spotted entering a club meeting for the Harvard College Young Leaders in Financial Consulting in Business yesterday at approximately 8:06 pm. Ross’s homecoming was met by a few scattered cheers, many strained faces attempting to show warmth, and one unintelligible scream from the back of the room.

“It was a mistake. I was drunk, and I still love you,” Says Freshman Caught Cheating on CS50

CAMBRIDGE, MA – In a leaked email sent to CS50 after he was called to the Honor Council, Kevin J. Benson ‘20, who cheated on problem sets in the course, wrote: “[Cheating] was a mistake, I was drunk, and I still love you.”

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