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Harvard

Resume Absolutely Cannot Fit Onto Less Than Four Pages, Freshman Informs Adviser

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Erin H. Miller ’20, a freshman in Thayer, informed her adviser on Monday that she absolutely cannot—under any circumstances—fit her resume onto fewer than four pages.

The showdown occurred when Melissa P. Williams, a lecturer in Economics, suggested that Miller condense her resume to one page as she applies for summer internships.

List: Clubs That Will Merge

HFAC and HCFA: While the Harvard Financial Analysts Club and Harvard College Faith and Action seem to have opposing goals and different visions of society, the OSL has decided that it's working pretty well for the Republican Party, so why not!

Chinese Students Association and the Catholic Students Association (CSA): They share the same acronym, so why not kill two birds with one stone?

Science Center Bathroom Declared As Harvard’s Second Most-Popular Tourist Destination

Cambridge, MA – In its annual report, the Harvard Admissions Office announced that the Science Center bathroom has officially become the second most popular tourist destination at Harvard, citing “high demand” and “visible relief” as top reasons for the shift in rankings.

The Crimson Arts Reviews "Seesaws in the Yard"

What is a seesaw, truly, but a simple metaphor for the fragile ebb and flow of humanity that somehow defines us all? What is a teeter-totter but a subtle allegory for the intricate dance of birth and death that emboldens yet imperils our lives?

These are the issues that Seesaws in the Yard—a flawed but compelling work of outdoor performance art in Harvard Yard—seeks to address. Ultimately, however, the work poses more questions than it resolves.

Harvard Republican Club Endorses Stern Finger Wagging in 2020

CAMBRIDGE, MA – In an early endorsement, the Harvard Republican Club announced today that it will be supporting a "stern finger wagging" in a 2020 GOP primary challenge to incumbent President Donald Trump.
 
The club made headlines last year when it refused to endorse Trump's presidential candidacy. This time around, its opposition to Trump has manifested itself in a sharp wag of the finger in the President's direction.
 

Entire History of Race and Gender in the United States Covered in 4-5 Page Final Paper

Lauren E. Parsons ’19 reportedly summed up the entire history of race and gender in the United States in a 4-5 page final paper for her USW class on Monday. Even though she banged out her essay in a night, Parsons apparently managed to contextualize slavery, the Civil War, Reconstruction, female suffrage, women’s roles in World War II, the Civil Rights era, all three waves of feminist thought, police brutality, and the 2016 election in just under 2,000 words.

I Am Excited to Announce

I am excited to announce how humbled I am to be making this announcement. The announcement that I am excited to announce has been a long time in the making, and I am so excited to finally be able to announce it. It is announcements like this one that make me so excited to make announcements.

Freshman Shuts Down Nonprofit He Founded To Get Into Harvard In Record Time

Nothing to see here

Reports surfaced on Thursday that Alex R. Watson ’20 has shut down the 501(c)(3) organization that he founded to get into Harvard. Kids Tackling Chlamydia, which Watson begrudgingly started as a last-ditch resume-saver in December 2015, will no longer offer the STD prevention classes to underprivileged preschoolers in Slovakia that it supposedly used to offer. 

Does This Really Surprise You?

By the Delphic Club

The Delphic Club was saddened to hear that news broke this morning that graduate members of the Delphic had hired strippers for a punch event in October 2010. We deeply regret that the story has circulated around campus, hitting number one on The Crimson’s most read list.

CEB Announces 'Who' Will Headline Yardfest

CAMBRIDGE, MA – After months of student demands to the Harvard College Events Board, “The Who” will headline this year’s Yardfest, according to an official announcement made by the CEB Monday evening. 

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