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Country Clubs Face Challenges Following Trump Tariffs on Towels Imported from Turkey


LAVA SPRINGS — The Trump administration announced new tariffs on towels imported from Turkey today, leaving those wanting fabulous wanting more this summer. The move came as part of the White House’s continual trade war to support domestic manufacturing.

“The American people have had enough of sticking to the status quo,” White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement. “This really is the start of something new.”

The news was met with excitement on Wall Street. One investor described their textile-based portfolio as “Soaring! Flying!”