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HUDS Opens New BoardPlus Location Behind Elaborate Obstacle Course

Cambridge, MA — Harvard University Dining Services recently announced the opening of a new BoardPlus café, conveniently located behind an elaborate obstacle course.

Flyby Investigates: HUDS Catch of the Day

If you've ever been to the dining hall (sometimes called the "d-hall"), you've probably been served "catch of the day." We here at Flyby know you're curious: what kind of fish is in the "catch of the day"? How does HUDS catch these fish? What's the deal with HUDS food, right?

We here at Flyby are curious too, so we decided to investigate: 

You Think I Give a Single Shit About What House You’re From?

Currier DHall

I see you coming up with your ID card ready, all excited for the cornucopia of delicious food we’ve prepared for you all. And I can see in your heart, you’re thinking “You know, I hope I’ll be able to eat here at Currier DHall tonight, even though I live in Leverett House.” Well let me tell you, here at Currier DHall we’re inclusive as fuck. Let me swipe that shit right through this machine and let you take your tray, young man.

Eliot HUDS Swiper Hired as Fly Bouncer

CAMBRIDGE, MA — The former HUDS Swiper for Eliot house, Maria L. Winston, has just been hired as the new bouncer for the Fly club. Winston, age 43, has been the Eliot house swiper for the past seven years. She described the decision to leave and move to the Fly as “initially difficult, although I’m excited for the opportunity to exclude all sorts of new people."

List of Things that Didn't Last As Long as the HUDS Strike

As the HUDS workers' strike comes to an end, Satire V has compiled a list of things that didn't last nearly as long:

HUDS Strikers Build Guillotine in Harvard Square

Cambridge, MA – Following the arrests of 11 Union members last weekend, Harvard Dining Hall Strikers are raising the stakes, quite literally, by setting out stakes for the scalps of the HMC Bourgeoisie and constructing a makeshift guillotine between CVS and CVS.

“We didn’t think, when we put this part in the strike plan, it would ever actually get that far,” Union Leader James Gregson told us. “To be honest, it was kind of suggested as a joke. But we need to show the university we’re serious, and this seemed like the most logical next step.”

Dean Dingman Hands Out Wrong Batch of Brownies to Striking Workers

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Though Local 26 and the Harvard Management Corporation have yet to negotiate a new contract, the first few days of the HUDS strike have not been without their share of drama. A low point was reached at lunchtime today, as Harvard Dean of Freshman Thomas A. "Tommy D" Dingman '67 accidentally distributed the wrong batch of homemade brownies to striking HUDS workers.
 
"Aww fuck, dude," the self-proclaimed Dean of Phresh was heard exclaiming as he saw protesters asking each other if they've ever "looked at swai, like, really looked at it."

Let The HUDS Games Begin

Food, frozen food. Dirty dishes, plastic knives, cold chowder. These are the conditions that we now must face. Twelve dining halls have rebelled against the administration that paid them, loved them, protected them. We at University Hall have no tolerance for this kind of treachery.

Local 26 Possible Strike and Impact on College Dining

Dear Harvard College Students,

I write to you this afternoon with an update about dining on campus in the event that Harvard University Dining Service (HUDS) workers go on strike tomorrow. I know that many of you have mid-term exams in addition to other commitments and are concerned about the impact of a possible strike on your schedules and dining options. We validate and apologize for your struggles, which are definitely comparable to those of the workers striking, who merely face increased costs of living and healthcare in the context of a tumultuous global economy.

Harvard Posts Craigslist Ad for Scab Workers

CAMBRIDGE, MA — A Craigslist ad posted late Thursday night suggests that Harvard is preparing for a strike by Harvard University Dining Services workers. The posting calls for “600 employees with experience in dining service” who “totally won’t just be strikebreakers.”

The current contract between the university and HUDS workers will expire on September 17, and 600 workers are prepared to strike unless the university meets their demands for higher pay and more affordable healthcare.

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