Lausanne, Switzerland—After years of contentious negotiations, Iran and the United States, along with five other powers, have established a potential framework for the outline of a possible means of splitting the check after they shared a meal at a D.C.-area Olive Garden.

“This truly has the potential to be a historic day,” said US Secretary of State John Kerry. “After two years, we have decided that we will probably use Venmo, unless the waiter can make change for Iran’s $50 bill.”

Documents recently leaked from the upper echelons of the Iranian government reveal that the personal assistant to Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei had forgotten to rig the presidential elections that took place in June this year, enabling the relative political moderate Hassan Rouhani to win without even the need for a runoff.

After the embarrassing incident in which a story by The Onion was published word-for-word, Iran’s official Fars news agency has once again run into trouble with satirical websites, this time publishing a story from SatireV entitled “Survey Reveals 69% of American Women Want to Deep-Throat Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.”