SatireV

Breaking News

Bad

March Madness

March Madness: Preview of Sweet 16

Kansas vs. Purdue

Purdue and Kansas are both ranked top 10 in the country in shooting percentage and worst states to go to college in.

Oregon vs. Michigan

Important Update Regarding March Madness Outbreak

Dear Members of the Harvard Community,

Since the beginning of the month, we have confirmed seven-hundred-fifty-nine cases of March madness in the Harvard community. Harvard University Health Services (HUHS) has been working closely with the Cambridge Public Health Department and the Massachusetts Department of Public Health to track and evaluate the scope of the March madness exposure in the Harvard community.

Kansas Basketball Superfan Reacts Rationally To Team’s Loss

 
LAWRENCE, KS -- In the aftermath of the shocking upset against second-ranked Villanova, reports have emerged suggesting that Kansas basketball über-fan Hector Elliott has reacted simply with calm and collected rationality. Despite the disappointment of the loss, Elliott has somehow yet to break a single piece of china, nor has he torn his modestly sized flat screen television from the wall and thrown it into his neighbor’s garden.
 

Satire V’s Guide to March Madness

Indianapolis, IN--It’s that special time of year again, when you squeeze into last summer’s shorts, go to JP Licks for something other than hot cocoa, and feign interest in sports for the ten minutes it takes to put together a bracket for March Madness. But wait—the only sporting event you watched in its entirety in the past year was Harvard-Yale football. And you were blackout drunk for that. What are you gonna do?

ESPN Launches College of Cardinals Bracket

Soon after Pope Benedict XVI announced that he would resign by the end of February, the College of Cardinals immediately geared up for what is shaping up to be the best March Madness since the famous “Crazy Conclave” of 1963 that ended with the come-from-behind win of the surprise underdog, Giovanni Battista Enrico Antonio Maria Montini, who after his victory celebrations took on the name Paul da Sixth.