SatireV

Breaking

and entering

mother's day

Why Call Me When You Could Just Post a Picture of Us on a Social Media Platform I Don’t Use?

Dear Child,

Today is that special day that comes around once every year when you honor me for growing a person - you - inside my stomach for nine months and then hatching you in a 21-hour-long ordeal. My body will never be the same after breastfeeding you until you were 42 months old (that’s three and a half, in case you forgot), and you want to thank me for that.