Marvel fanboys, superhero geeks, and Stan Lee disguised as a moviegoer piled into movie theaters around the country this week to see Marvel Studios' Avengers: Infinity War. Though the film had been touted as the epic climax to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, moviegoers were disappointed to discover that it was just a four-hour-long documentary about the American invasion of Iraq.

LOS FELIZ, CA--As part of his ongoing divorce settlement, Brad Pitt, one half of the beloved Hollywood Natalie-Portmanteau "Brangelina," has reportedly lost the rights to the 'r' in his first name.

While the legal settlements are not yet concluded, Pitt seems to have already conceded defeat, saying, "I used to have some of the best name recognition in the industry. Who's going to work with Bad Pitt? Nobody, that's who!"

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- After Harvard announced that Steven Spielberg would address the Class of 2016 during commencement this spring, Satire V gained exclusive access to speeches that other famous directors submitted for Harvard's approval. Here are some excerpts from a few of those speeches:

J.J. Abrams

CAMBRIDGE, MA-- Over the past few days, the 2016 Lowell Housing Day video filming has turned sour.

“I signed up to be in the video because I thought it would build house spirit,” a tearful Amanda Burnes ‘18 reported. “But the director is horrible. He made us do, like, sixty different takes of me opening the door.”

With last night's win for his performance in The Revenant, Leonardo DiCaprio has finally taken home an Academy Award for Best Actor after four nominations. However, there are still plenty of things that Leo hasn't won, and we at Satire V have now compiled the definitive list:

EMERYVILLE, CA -- Due to recent developments in the Middle East, Pixar executives have decided to postpone the release of The Incredibles 2: Super Prophet.  The film, which follows the super-powered Parr family as they enjoy their family vacation in the United Arab Emirates, contains a three-minute dialogue between Bob, the super-strong father of the Parr family, and Mohammed, the founder of the Islamic faith.