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17 Important Issues No UC Candidate is Talking About

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The UC presidential election is in full swing, but not every important issue is being addressed. Satire V has compiled a definitive list of 17 issues that no UC candidate is talking about:

1) The female orgasm

2) How to get a new napkin out of the dispenser when it’s really filled to the brim

3) Why Jessica won’t answer my calls

4) Why you park on a driveway but drive on a parkway

5) Why?

6) The fact that Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999-2002) was basically Saw for children