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The one that got away

Katy Perry Kept Afloat Only by Freshmen Listening to “The One That Got Away (Acoustic)”

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - Sources close to pop star Katy Perry report that she is staving off bankruptcy solely because lonely college freshmen are listening to the acoustic version of her 2010 hit “The One That Got Away” on repeat.

The Santa Barbara native was once making millions worldwide from her catchy pop-dance ditties and heartfelt ballads. But now she is only able to make ends meet from the residuals she receives as 18-year-olds lament their recently lost high school loves.