SatireV

Breaking

and entering

I Guess I'm Just Somebody Yardfest Will Never Know

The CEB didn't have to cut me off! I'm at least as entertaining as Tiësto!
By Gotye
 
It has come to my attention that once again the Harvard College Events Board has passed over me, Belgian-Australian multi-instrumentalist singer-songwriter Gotye, for Yardfest headliner. 
 
Now and then I think about when I was on top of the charts. "Somebody That I Used to Know" was an 11x Platinum record in Australia! My music was blaring through radios across continents. I felt so happy I could die!
 
But then I started to feel lonely. Sure, I had millions of dollars and international fame, and I played concerts to sold-out venues. But in my experience you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness. So when I found out about Harvard's annual Yardfest concert, I thought to myself, "Gotye, this is your chance to do something special. To do something really meaningful."
 
But no. Oh no. The CEB just had to cut me off. I kept applying year after year, but they kept rejecting me. They acted like I was nothing, and treated me like a total stranger. I felt an artistic kinship with them, and it felt so rough when they passed on me for five consecutive years.
 
Then, just last year, the CEB changed their phone number. I never expected them to stoop so low. Luckily, a friend of mine was able to find a record of their new contact information. And I admit that, despite all the times they screwed me over, I was excited to apply once again.
 
And again, I've been rejected. I can't help but think it was always something that I'd done. I could continue to dwell on the reasons why the CEB doesn't want me to perform, but I don't want to live that way. Why should I keep reading into every word the CEB wrote in their rejection letter when I know I wouldn't catch them hung up on the details of my application?
 
So I've decided to move on. It was once my dream to perform at Yardfest, but it looks like it will never happen. I guess I'm just somebody that Yardfest will never know.
 
© 2017
Category: