Point: Hilary Duff is better than Lindsay Lohan

By Hillary Duff

I’m going to take the high road and not start off this intelligent—I did go to Harvard! Extension school SO counts!—conversation by pointing out my rival’s firecrotch. But you know, if I weren’t so classy, I’d say that she’s had more pictures taken of her vagina than Paris Hilton has STD’s! Ha!

Some say firecrotch is a better actress than me. But I disagree. My stint as an awkward preteen with her wacky sidekicks (Dorky boy in love with me? Check. Nutty but loveable parents? Check. Black person? Ok, let’s not be silly. One black show per Disney Channel!) was some damn good acting. And let’s not forget my singing career, which is not so yesterday. (Get it?) Or my movie “A Cinderella Story”, where I was again awkward but that’s ok because in the end I TOTALLY made out with Chad Michael Murray, shazam, take that L. Lo! It was like the fairy tale Cinderella except with cell phones and a feisty smart-talking black woman (see, I’m not racist). And my song about rain was the theme song for Laguna Beach! DUFF-1, VAGINA-0.

What the hell has firecrotch even been in other than the tabloids? Mean Girls? Whatever. She was fat in that movie anyway. And what else has she done? Oh yeah, the Parent Trap. Haha. I feel about that one…I guess no one told her they’d already made that movie before. And they say blondes are stupid!

In short, move over Lindsay Lohan. You may have stolen Aaron Carter (sigh…that boy…what an acne-filled catch…) but I, Hilary With One L Duff, will win the war!

Counterpoint: Lindsay Lohan are beter than Hilarry Duf

By Lindsay Lohan

Here is why. That bitch Hilary is such a fatass she totally
had 3 meals yesterday! I mean, I’m not gonna go all Nicole Richie on her ass
but God she’s obesity.

Al Gore will back me up on this one. Al Gore ROCKS. Al Gore
is the new black. And he loves me!!! He’s going to tell the world to leeve me
alone, Lindsay Lohan has suffered enuf! Now there’s an unconvenient truth.
He’ll help me.

And Hilary Clinton. And Bill Clinton. And Oprah! And Ronald
Ragean! And Michale Jakson! And Jesus!

Now about that blond bitch Hilary.

Sue the tabloyds.

Sue Hilarry Dufff

I was fabulous as a MEAN GIRL and I had one FREAKY FRIDAY
one time (those are the names of 2 of my movies, in case you didn’t see them.
Which you probably did.) And what about Hillary Duff? She sucks. Her voice
makes me wanna throw up (which is why I watch Lizzie McGuire after every meal)
and do cocaine. ok, who am I kidding, I do coke cuz its fun not because of Hilary
Dugly.

Anywey.