and entering


Point-Counterpoint: Do I Want the Raisin Bran Muffin?

Point- I'm fucking starving and Annenberg closed at 7:30.

Counterpoint-The muffin kind of seems dry, though.

Point- It hasn't been out for that long. It was fresh when I got it from ABP.

Counterpoint- ….two weeks ago?

Point- I love raisins.

Counterpoint- No you don't.

The Automotive Industry is a Gay Conspiracy

By Rick Santorum

DETROIT, MI -- Thank you! Thank you. Yes, it’s a great night to be in Detroit, ladies and gentlemen, the city where the American dream was designed and manufactured.  Thank you!

Ladies and Gentlemen: I know what the automotive industry means to you – many of your families have worked on American cars and trucks for generations, and that’s just fine. That’s great, in fact.  America needs transportation, and America needs you. 

 But my fellow Americans – don’t you see the problem with this city?

A Message From Dean Dingman Regarding Blocking

Dear Members of the Class of 2015,

Point-Counterpoint: Will the World End This Year?

This month in point-counterpoint, Maya Angelou and a Mayan Priestess weigh in on whether the apocalypse will arrive in 2012, as prophesied by the Mayans millennia ago.


I have written a spell of protection for the earth. It is in the form of a haiku.

Obama Oprah
Oprah Oprah Obama
Obama Oprah


I Know Why the Caged Egg Sings

By Hardy Boyle

Free at last, free at last!  What a day for eggs everywhere.  My fore-roosters and fore-hens could never have imagined what this feels like.  Finally, eggs like me are granted the basic unalienable rights afforded to all animals.  No longer will we be brutally scrambled, fried, or poached.  Finally I look on the sunny side of life.  I am a newborn eggsistentialist. 

Ebert's Latest Review a Total Romp

"I have no idea if this movie was made stoned." Characteristically punchy and incisive, Roger Ebert has yet again knocked one out of the park with his latest review, entitled "A Very R-Rated Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas."

Historical Advice Column: Ask Patty

Dear Patty,

I'm faced with a bit of a dilemma.  I've been ruling France for about 10 years now, and don't get me wrong; it's been great. I've instituted sweeping reforms, and defeated both Austria and Prussia.  But I feel like it's just not enough any more.  I'm getting itchy feet and feel like it's about time to stage another invasion.  I was thinking of Russia, but I'm just not sure.  How do I know if I'm ready to wage another large-scale war yet?

- Questioning Corsican


Point-Counterpoint: I'm Not Sure If I Want to Eat Your Pussy vs. God I Would Love to Eat Your Cat


I'm Not Sure If I Want to Eat Your Pussy

By Jonathan Sanders, Sixteen-Year-Old Texan Boy

OK Martha, I know we've been together for three months now. Yes, your parents aren't home and yes, we're in your bedroom alone, but I don't know if I'm ready to do that yet.

No, of course I'm not gay; I think you're really hot. I just"" don't want to.

Point-Counterpoint: Pluto Wants Back In

Point: You guys are

by Pluto the ""dwarf

All of you are a bunch of
liars. Yeah, I'm talking to you, all those women who are all like, ""size doesn't
matter"" and then you ditch me and giggle with all your chic 20 year old friends
wearing cocktail dresses in the back of those bars that pretend that they're
chic because they serve electric blue drinks that have names in bastardized
French. You're all liars, because clearly size does matter.

Rick Astley Gave Me Up, Let Me Down

Rick Astley, of internet fame and suave and
sexy looks, seems like a great guy when you only know him from a YouTube video.
But beware: his spotless shine is solely the result of the reflective surface of
your computer monitor.

It was March 13th, 1987.  Rick and
I were as happy as could be. But as soon as he proposed, our relationship went
where most of Rick's music would go: buried under a pile of bum clothes in the
back of a dark alleyway just south of the traffic light at 18th
Street and Broadway.