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Pineapple Pizza is Awesome, Man! by Guy Fieri vs. Fuck You by Anthony Bourdain

Pineapple Pizza is Awesome, Man!
 
By Guy Fieri
 
Hey, man! I've heard there's been some controversy surrounding my favorite pizza topping: pineapple. Some people say pineapple doesn't belong on pizza, but they're just party poopers! Put a little pineapple on your pizza, and you'll be riding the bus to Flavor Town in no time, man! Pineapple pizza is off the hook! Alright!
 
Fuck You
 
By Anthony Bourdain
 

The Orlando Tragedy Proves [Insert Prior Belief Here]

My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of today’s tragedy. But thoughts and prayers are not enough. It’s time for real change. Today’s shooting in Orlando shows how important it is for us to support [insert prior belief here].

Point/Counterpoint: Kim Jong-un is Best Leader vs. Kim Jong-un is Greatest Leader

Point: Kim Jong-un is Best Leader on Earth by Kim Jong-un

Kim Jong-un is best leader on earth and only leader capable of defeating decadent Western pigs. He is a tremendous basketball star, well-known for scoring 60 points in his final game for the Los Angeles Lakers. He has likewise many lady admirers such as Kendall Jenner, with whom he would do the intercourse very often, were it not that she is a capitalist whore hell-bent on undermining the morals of Best Korea. 

Point/Counterpoint: The Wall on DeWolfe Street