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“lol” Proves Incapable of Taking Edge Off Sentence All By Itself

The text in question.

CAMBRIDGE, MA - A text message that Carl P. Thompson '19 sent to his old roommate yesterday night reportedly still packs quite an emotional punch despite the usage of the acronym “lol” at the end to soften its blow. Indeed, the “lol,” far from removing the sentence’s worrisome nature, may be contributing to it.

At 1:23 a.m., Thompson texted: "I haven't been eating or sleeping well and I don't think I've had a real good day since Sharon dumped me three years ago lol," as if he were somehow capable of laughing out loud in that moment.

“Look, I’m not used to dealing with sentences of this magnitude,” said the acronym. “Usually the sentence itself does some of the heavy lifting when it comes to lightening the mood, but this one has really given me nothing to work with. You can’t just put me in a disaster like this sentence and expect me to perform miracles. I’m not the flushed-face emoji.”

Thompson's former roommate, who received the text, is ambivalent about what to do next. “The sentence was a real doozy, and I’m a little worried that Carl might not be fine,” he said in an interview. “But he ended it with ‘lol,’ so maybe he means it as a joke? But if he meant it as a joke, does he still need help? It sounds like he still needs help.”

After Thompson's former roommate came over to console him, Thompson sent a thank-you text: “Thanks, I was in a dark place, and I really needed that lmao.”

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