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Area Man Finds Missing Ampersand on Keyboard

The ampersand is right above the 7.

WOBURN, MASS. — Following a lengthy search, area man Stephan T. Dahl reported that he had found the ampersand on his 2012 MacBook Pro and can now resume typing.

“It’s pretty well hidden, but if you look closely, you can actually make it out riiiiight there,” said Dahl, pointing to the clearly illuminated and symbol that has shared a button with the number 7 for approximately four decades.

The search for the ampersand was prompted by an email correspondence with an old friend about the duo's favorite multinational consumer goods companies. “While he was partial to 3M and its lineup of adhesive products, I’ve always had a very strong preference for Proctor & Gamble,” Dahl explained. When he sat down to draft an impassioned case for the conglomerate, he realized in a panic that he did not know how to type the defining centerpiece of its brand.

According to concerned onlookers at the local Starbucks, Dahl then spent the better part of his Sunday on the phone, screaming at an Apple customer service representative that the company had forgotten to put an ampersand on his device. “I told him to just look for the 7 button, but he just kept demanding to talk to my manager, who doesn’t work weekends,” recounted employee Amy L. Gossman, who finally hung up after Dahl started insulting the new iPad mini.

Dahl took a short break to call his mother for assistance, but she was equally unhelpful. “All she could say was that she was 90% sure that it has something to do with the shift button,” noted Dahl, disgusted with the octogenarian’s lack of technological literacy. Dahl managed to find the ampersand several minutes later after stumbling upon an obscure area of the keyboard just above the Y.

At press time, right before he was about to click send on his email, Dahl suddenly realized that his admiration for Proctor & Gamble pales in comparison to his inescapable lust for Nestlé products. 

Image credit: Shutterstock

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