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Area Man Watches Sister Act; Laughs, Cries

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A truly magnificent film is hard to find. Such masterpieces come by only once in a blue moon. It seems that local janitor Stanislav Yavinsky struck gold when he stumbled upon the critically acclaimed movie, “Sister Act.” The show follows a former prostitute as she courageously accepts the identity of a nun hiding in the Witness Protection Program.

Yavinsky reportedly watched the show alone whilst eating a bag of Cheetos he found in his daughter’s room. Little did he know that he would soon be on his knees, bawling and praying to the baby Jesus. Said Yavinksy’s wife, “We had no idea what was going on. He just kept saying “She didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Mary Clarence is a SAINT.”

Stanislav felt so many emotions he couldn’t even articulate any of them. Casual observers- namely his family, saw tears, laughter, and angry sobs.

“It was a stroke of genius that will never be matched” Stanislav said. “I’ve never felt this in tune with my emotions.”

 When asked for any final words, Yavinsky responded, “Astounding. Simply astounding.”

© 2013
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