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Area Taste-Tester Somehow Knows Packaged Chip Needs More Thiamin Mononitrate

Potato chips lacking in thiamin mononitrate.

PLANO, TX—On Wednesday afternoon, at Frito-Lay’s national headquarters, area taste-tester Carl L. Webber somehow knew that the packaged chip before him needed more thiamin mononitrate.

Sources familiar with Webber’s process say that Webber swirled the chip around in a glass, then paused thoughtfully, then allowed the aromas to waft towards him, then paused thoughtfully, then scribbled down, “Could really use some thiamin mononitrate.”

“It had notes of folic acid and a secondary aroma of maltodextrin,” Webber said. “But boy did that chip need thiamin mononitrate.”

Webber is reportedly the same genius responsible for the monosodium glutamate in Doritos and the soy lecithin in Oreos. At press time, he was adding a generous heap of riboflavin to his breakfast.

 

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