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In Bold Move, Mom Calls You First on Her Birthday

A mother on the phone.
Mom calling you on her birthday, before you could even remember that you had written yourself a reminder.
COLUMBUS, OH – In a move that is sending shock waves throughout your immediate family, Mom preemptively called you before you could call her on her birthday.
Although you intended to call to wish her a happy birthday after class ended at 3 pm– a seemingly reasonable time– reports indicate that your phone buzzed at 10:30 am, an hour before you had planned on waking up.
"The internet wasn't working. What was I supposed to do?" said a defensive Mom, standing by the pretense of her call. "It's not my fault he didn't call earlier," she added, somewhat coyly.
Experts are calling the act "subtly savage" and "probably the subject of dinner conversations for years to come." One historian called Mom's power move "an unprecedented breach of etiquette that somehow leaves you feeling in the wrong."
News of your faux pas has traveled far and wide. Sources say that even Aunt Eileen, who only attends Thanksgiving every other year, has heard of your supposed neglect and plans to call you about it. The normally quiet Dad even chimed in, adding, "You're in dog house, son."
"I don't understand why he waited so long. You know how she is," said your sister, who called Mom at 7:30 am. "You better have sent a card, by the way." 
At press time, you were in the midst of Googling, "Can you see when a letter was postmarked" and setting a reminder one year in advance of Mom's next birthday.
© 2017