and entering

College-Bound Chicken to Major in Dramaturkey

Cluckson performs.

OLD MACDONALD’S FARM — After much deliberation, area chicken Henrietta Cluckson has decided to attend Carnegeese Melon University, where she will major in Dramaturkey. The egg-born ingénue, who has been studying theater since incubation, has previously starred in productions of Richbird the Third and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

“High school can be tough on theater kids since there’s always a pecking order,” Cluckson’s drama teacher, Paul Tree, said. “But we all knew that Henrietta would fly straight to the top.”

Cluckson’s parents have been scrambling to figure out how they will pay for her tuition once she flies the coop. They recently hatched a plan to rent out their farm on AirBirdnB after losing their nest egg in the squawk market crash of 2010.

Inspired by the works of Birdadette Peters and Mandy Patankhen, the winged wunderkind is president and founder of her high school's musical theater club, which performed Ocluckhoma! last fall. “I flock to people that share my interests, so starting the club was a real hoot,” Cluckson said.

Cluckson was wary of putting all of her eggs in one basket, so she applied to over a dozen colleges. “We always gave Henrietta free range to explore her interests,” her Home Eclucknomics teacher, Albert Tross, said. “All of her teachers knew that she was meant for greener pastures.”

Despite her teachers’ cockiness, Cluckson bawked at the idea of being so farm from home. The avian actor was also accepted to Banyard College, but she had her reservations about attending a chicks-only school.

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