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"You Know, the Irish Faced Discrimination" Proclaims Irish-American Who Has Never Faced Discrimination

Francis O'Connell thought his pseudo-historical nonsense would change his friends' minds.

BOSTON, MA – In the middle of a discussion about racism in America, local accountant and Irish-American Francis O'Connell, who has never experienced any discrimination of any kind, added that, "You know, the Irish were discriminated against, too."

After dropping this truth bomb, O'Connell looked around the table for supportive nods, but received only confused stares.

Megan Sanders, a friend of O'Connell's who was present, said that, "I actually found it kind of endearing. As if he thought he had made some unique observation relevant to our conversation about race, or that he was suddenly a historian. So cute."

When asked whether he had ever experienced any discrimination, the decidedly upper-middle-class O'Connell replied, "Well, no, not personally. But my great-great grandfather, who came over from Ireland, was often told that 'Irish Need Not Apply.' And what about the potato famine, huh?"  

Columbia University history professor Gillian Spork agrees that the potato famine did happen.

"It did happen," said Professor Spork. "And it is true that Irish immigrants were discriminated against through the 1920s. But after that, they were allowed to be white people, and everything sort of mellowed out in the long run."

As the discussion turned to the merits of affirmative action, O'Connell attempted to interrupt by claiming that the "Irish were the first slaves" in America, but was promptly shut down by Sanders.

© 2017
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