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Local Barbershop Offers A Trim "Downstairs"

Catering to an often-neglected market, a local barbershop will offer a keen cut for the shrubbery "downstairs".

Often when a boy comes of age, new and difficult transformations happen
to his body, according to experts.. Many of these transformations are left unchecked for the remainder of that boy's life. But it is more healthy and, ultimately, more satisfying for that boy to reign in the follicle forest that sprouts in his nether regions.

Local Man Sole Possessor of Truth About September 11th

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – The man screaming outside the Harvard Square T Station knows something you don’t know.

Over the past five years, Cantabrigians
have grown accustomed to the unnerving activism of Paul Smith, self-described “political activist” and manager, director, and sole member of the political action committee End Jew Lies Now. This much is a matter
of common knowledge. But what about the man behind the sprayed spittle? Satire V’s reporting team took to the streets to investigate.

Local Sheriff Reports He's Never Seen Anything Like This

Local Sheriff Henry Cooper reported
Wednesday that in 22 years of police work, he's never seen anything like this.

"I tell you, I've been a cop for 35 years now, and I've seen some pretty strange things," recounted Cooper, the sheriff of Wyoming's tiny Hot Springs County. "But I tell ya, I never seen anything quite like this."

Several sheriff's deputies at the scene of the incident agreed that they, too, had never seen anything quite like this.

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