SatireV

Breaking

and entering

ring my bell

Lowell Bell Just Looking to Get Banged

Lowell House aerial
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Area percussion instrument Lowell Bell has not peeped a sound in almost a year. After yet another night spent alone, silent on her perch above Mount Auburn Street, Bell has confessed that she just wants to get banged.
 
"At this point, I'd be game for a one-night stand with anyone ap-pealing enough," said Bell. "A massive dong would be nice."