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Report: Dean Khurana Fails Turing Test

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Adding to students' concerns about the humanity of College administrators, a survey conducted by The Harvard Independent has shown that Rakesh Khurana, Dean of Harvard College, was unable to pass the Turing test. 

Giant Robot Eagle Named as Secretary of Homeland Security

 

In a surprise move, President Barack Obama has nominated a gigantic robotic bald eagle to Secretary of Homeland Security.