WASHINGTON D.C. — After facing backlash for laying off over 3,700 part-time employees, French makeup giant Sephora is now being applauded for its pledge to donate its stockpile of facemasks to American frontline healthcare workers combatting the COVID-19 pandemic.  While no N95 masks were listed for sale on the company website, industrial grade clay, charcoal, and Himalayan salt models in durable pastel packaging were available in bulk.

In a bold move in support of mental health, Mather senior Thomas Seeber awoke at 11:15 a.m. on Saturday only to go back to sleep 3.5 hours later. Given his lack of commitments for the day, Seeber decided that the best use of his time would be to elongate the period during which he was unconscious.

“I just got up, scrolled through Facebook for a while, went to the dhall for some brunch, and went back to bed,” Seeber said. “You’d be surprised how exhausted you can get after such a short period of time.”