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Leaked: GOP Demands for the Tax Bill

The Republican Tax Plan just passed the House. What does the Senate GOP want in order to pass the bill? Satire V has obtained a list of some of the demands:

So NOW You Call Me

So, funny story. I’m finishing off a stellar round of mahjong in my office this morning, when Linda comes in to tell me that one of my constituents called urging me to speak out against President Trump’s immigration ban. And turns out it’s you! You called! Which is wild because we haven’t talked in, I don’t know, like eight months?

D.C. Legalizes Weed, Senate Reports “No Change” in Productivity

WASHINGTON, DC--In a rare moment of conviviality following the District of Columbia's legalization of recreational cannabis use this week, all 100 members of the US Senate lit up together in the basement of the Hart Senate Office Building, leading to what observers have described as "no change whatsoever" in the amount of work the body got done.