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Sex Week

The Only Beautiful Sex is the Handjob I'm Giving to the Crimson Editorial Staff to Publish This Op-Ed

Sex week

by Anti-Sex Week Columnist

Guy Who RSVP'ed to Sex Week Event Clearly Fucks

Photo of a boy

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- On Tuesday Carl Honenberg ’20 RSVP’ed “going” on Sex Week’s "Talk Dirty to Me" event, letting every one of his Facebook friends know, once and for all, that he definitely "fucks."

“I was pretty sure Carl fucks,” roommate Andrew Yaeger commented yesterday. “He basically never stops talking about 'them chicks,' but it’s good that Sex Week has given me truly concrete opportunity to know that Carl unquestionably fucks.” 

Area Husband Organizes Sex Week Programming

AUBURN, NY—In an effort to promote a more vibrant intimate relationship with his wife, area husband David Im, 49, has organized Sex Week, seven days packed with events for the enlightenment and edification of the couple. 

According to the official website Im created for Sex Week, programming began Sunday with “Aphrodisiacs 101”, featuring a panel of culinary experts from around the world. 

HUDS Inaugural Sex Week Workshop A Hit

This past week, Harvard University Dining Services’ (HUDS) first ever Sex Week workshop was met with a wave of gratitude from students and professors alike. The workshop, fittingly titled “Ladies, Mind Your Melons; Boys, Preserve Your Plantains”, employed foods commonly found in Harvard dining halls to educate individuals about their sexual health.