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Breaking

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sidewalk

Friendship Pecking Order Determined by Narrowing of Sidewalk

Scary sidewalk

CAMBRIDGE, MA — After a harrowing ordeal this past Friday, Timmy R. Simon was devastated to learn that he was the ranked quite low on the friendship pecking order after being forced to walk behind his other four friends as the sidewalk narrowed along Mass Ave.

“One second we were cruising,” Simon recounted, “and then all of a sudden two trash cans and a tree appeared out of nowhere. Almost instantaneously I found myself alone as the rest of the dudes fell into perfect square formation.”